Learn To Say No!
-- by Ken Blanchard
-- http://www.redtienda.com/english/newsletter84.htm#1Saying no is
simple, but not always easy for most people. I've
determined that you must have a systematic,
philosophically-based approach to saying no. I
recommend three steps:
1. KNOW
WHAT YOUR GOALS AND PRIORITIES ARE.
If you
have a plan for managing your work and time, it
is easier to say no to new activities that don't
fit into your agenda. We have a saying in one of
our programs that goes, "A person who does
not have goals is used by someone who does."
Be clear
on what your priorities are. What are you
currently trying to accomplish and by when? How
can you focus your energy on things that will
move you toward those goals? You have to be
somewhat inflexible. A new assignment or
opportunity can be a distraction. Just let your
goals become your reality check.
To
achieve these goals, you need to set priorities
and stick with them. Then you will be better able
to discern whether opportunities are important
for you at this time in your life.
All good
performance starts with clear goals. Without
clear goals you will quickly be a victim of too
many commitments. You will have no framework in
which to make decisions about where you should or
shouldn't focus your energy. I am much better at
saying no when I am clear about my focus and what
my goals are.
2. BE
REALISTIC ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF DOING ONE
MORE THING.
This is
both for yourself and for the person who wants
your time. I've found the best approach is to be
honest and direct. For example, say, "If I
do this, I won't be able to get to do the other
things that I've committed to, "or,
"with what I've got going on right now, I
feel certain that I won't do as good a job as I'd
like and we will both be disappointed."
When a
new opportunity comes my way I often compliment
the idea (if I feel it has merit) and then say,
"I don't choose to get involved."
I've
found this is a powerful approach. I'm amazed
that when I use it people don't say, "Well,
why can't you do it?" They just accept it
and say, "Thank you."
3. OFFER
ALTERNATIVES AND SOLUTIONS.
Suggest
someone else who you feel could do a better job
or who is available sooner to work on the task.
If the request is from your manager, suggest a
project or priority that you are doing that could
be dropped, delayed, or given to someone else, or
ask him or her to suggest an alternative plan.
Which
approach you use does, of course, depend on who's
asking for your commitment, what the task or
project is, and the time frame involved. A
request from your manager will involve more
consideration and discussion than a request from
an associate or someone you don't know.
Research
done by Charles Garfield on peak performers shows
that they focus on only a few things at a time.
Peter Drucker asserts that the only people who
truly get anything done are monomaniacs--people
that intensely focus on one thing at a time. The
more you take on, the greater the chance that you
will lose effectiveness not only in getting that
task done, but most likely in all aspects of your
life.
Keep in
mind that when you say no, you're not saying no
to them, only to their proposition. There's only
one person that can turn that person down and
that's themselves. Eleanor Roosevelt said,
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without
your permission."
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